


A Ninetales in Thedas

by Charling



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Forbidden Love, Gen, Modern Girl in Thedas, Pokemon References, Sexual Tension, Tresspasser Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-11-23 01:14:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11392272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charling/pseuds/Charling
Summary: This is my modern/dead girl in Thedas story!Amy Stanton stumbles around in the new world she has suddenly found herself in, surrounded by strangers she knows so well. She could never return to her old life - a fact she understands painfully well - yet it shadows her every step, and haunts her every thought.How can happiness be found with such a burden?Inspired by a rogue thought; Explaining Pokémon to Cullen would be an interesting conversation!Focuses on Amy and Cullen's relationship, and how she adjusts to life with significantly less modern comforts and amusements.





	1. The Day I Died

**Author's Note:**

> More tags will be added as it progresses, as it is a write as I go kind of story.  
> As ever, comments would be appreciated!

The day I died was like any other really. It was actually a good day come to think of it; a free Saturday alone with my fiancé, staying in bed until a very inappropriate hour before getting ready to go to a concert. I remember how his eyes moved hungrily over my body as I put my clothes on, standing up to stroke through my long, bright purple hair, with his green eyes meeting my blue ones.  
“Keep looking at me like that, and we will be late for Hans Zimmer.” My daring comment was met with an animalistic grunt as his hand trailed down my neck and over my chest. A bluff. He knew I would never risk being late for this concert; I’ve been excited for months. He was just teasing himself. I smiled and turned away, earning a whine that made me giggle.   
“Come on you big bear! Or I’m going without you!”

“What do you think he’ll play? Definitely Pirates of the Caribbean, maybe Interstellar? There’s Batman too… Oh I would love it if he played Spirit! Though I must say my favourite song he’s done has to be the Da Vinci Code, movie itself was a bit shite though…” I babbled on as we sat in our seats – good ones too! I glanced over at him and he was staring at me with such a goofy smile that made me go silent and burn with a furious blush.  
“God I love you Amy.”  
He meant the world to me. He was my Arcanine, and I was his Ninetales.  
I suppose all good things must come to an end though. A hidden clock in my body must have stopped ticking. My world suddenly went black. You hear of scare stories about brain aneurysms, cutting a life short so suddenly.   
But honestly, I think it’s worse for everyone else around you.   
Unless you wake up again, like I did.   
I could never describe the multitude of feelings I had as I looked around, slowly standing up with my mouth agape at the new world around me.   
A silent world of mirrors.   
An otherworldly sense suddenly hit me and almost sent me to the floor again.  
Got a choice to make.   
But what am I meant to do? What am I meant to choose? How do I get home? Part of me felt too young to die, with the other half feeling too old for this shit.   
As if it understood me, the world twisted and faded around me, blurring until there were only two mirrors left; their tall, silver arches each containing a foreboding, swirling vortex.   
Black or white.   
Now, I’m the kind of girl that prefers black to white. But when your damn well dead, black can’t be good!   
So, I did the only thing I thought I should.   
My hand reached out as I timidly crept to the white vortex. It reached out, consuming me; swallowing my screams as I fell into the abyss.


	2. God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass

I was crying long before I fell out the other side, blinded by the strong light and my tears. I was petrified; I had no idea what was happening to me and one powerful thought in my mind.  
You’re dead.   
I landed on the floor with a jolt. I stayed there; face down in the ground and sobbed, giving into the fear that consumed me, grieving for the world I’ve left.  
You’ll never see your Arcanine again.  
It shouldn’t be this hard! Everyone dies! Why does it hurt so much?   
I rolled over with a punch to the ground, wailing into the air and then into my hands as I covered my face. I was dead. What did it matter that I completely lost it? It wasn’t like anyone was going to confront my noise.   
Then, finally, it all went black.  
Although, it was only for a moment.   
I woke with a surprised gasp in a much darker place, clutching my chest as I sat up to cough, with my throat burning from my previous cries. I craved water, and somehow managed to ask for it with a whisper between coughs. I don’t know why I asked for it, other than the likelihood that part of me was paying more attention to my surroundings than I thought.   
A wooden cup appeared, sliding between bars with the water sloshing; the noise grabbed my attention and I turned to it with wide eyes, full of shock.  
Maybe I wasn’t dead.   
I eagerly drunk the water, finishing it quickly and returning it to its original place on the floor. I looked at my surroundings, expecting to see a hospital ward, but it could never be something so simple.   
I was in a cell. A filthy, stinking, dark cell. One hand went to my forehead out of pure shock as the other propped me up on the floor.  
Right into a puddle of scummy grime.   
I let out a surprised cry and launched myself away from the offending puddle, looking at my hand and seeing red.  
That’s blood.   
I started shaking as I stared at my hand, with a new kind of fear filling me.   
This must be a dream. It has to be! The last dream as you die, where all the neurons in the brain are firing for the last time.  
Although, it is typical with my luck that it’s a bloody nightmare.   
“Oh please, we should kill her before she starts that incessant noise again.”  
“I have said no! There has been enough bloodshed already.”  
“An unusual moral stance for a Commander of an army, and a Templar no less. Or is it because she is not a mage hmm?”  
“This isn’t about the Commander, Morrigan.” I followed the sound of the arguing voices but my vision was blocked by something on the other side of the bars. When my eyes adjusted to the dark, what I saw made my hands fly to cover my mouth to hold back a scream, forgetting my previous hygienic scare.  
“Is it possible for my advisors to spend five minutes in the same room together, without arguing like a couple of bickering Orlesians?” An enormous, grey man with giant horns on his head growled at the other voices as he was crouching down, staring at me.   
My current state wanted me to scream devil, until I saw the traces of a green glow on his hand, as he held back a wince of pain.  
I started laughing; finally lost to hysteria.   
“It is a pointless argument I’m afraid Inquisitor, since I’m dead anyway.” The Qunari raised an eyebrow with question. “I’ve died and gone to bloody Thedas.” I muttered, before laughter took over me again. I suppose it isn’t such a bad dream then; it is a world I have often wanted to escape to, but this is a bit much.   
“So, you are from a different world then?” The Qunari asked.  
“It is as I said before.” A voice behind the Qunari added, and credit to my dream/nightmare, it did sound the same as the Morrigan in the games. But I disagreed with their logic.  
“No! You’re all in my head! This is just a bad dream I am having.”  
“But you fell through the Eluvian.” The Qunari argued back. “Don’t you remember?”  
“I remember dying!” I shouted, swiping my hand for emphasis. “Now let this dream end so I can be at peace.” I brought my knees to my chest as I turned away, hugging them close for comfort as I stared angrily at the wall. I didn’t realise I was muttering my angry thoughts, quoting Bruce Almighty when I spoke of God being a mean kid with a magnifying glass and I am his ant victim with endless tormenting even in the bloody end.  
“What’s your name?” The Inquisitor asked after a moment. I let out a shaky sigh.  
“Amy Stanton.” I replied.  
“Stanton?” I peeked behind me and saw the advisors have stepped closer to my cage. But it was one surprised face that held my gaze, naturally.   
Cullen.  
More specifically, Cullen Stanton Rutherford.  
For the first time since this whole nightmare began, I felt alive; for surely a dead person’s heart wouldn’t be fluttering like this.


	3. To Insult a Qunari

They left me in that cell overnight. I didn’t know what to think when Cullen looked at me in a way that left me wide-eyed and breathless, but part of me hoped he would say something about putting me somewhere more comfortable, at least. But he said nothing at all. He just stared like he was seeing me for the first time; curiosity and wonder in his eyes before he closed them and looked away. I didn’t blame him; At this point, I wasn’t much to look at. Purple hair, frizzy and tangled, blue eyes tired and defeated with an embellishment of smudged make-up. The clothes I wore - just a simple black tank top and dark skinny jeans under my favourite New Rock boots - were all covered in the grime from the floor.   
I was really killing the first impressions here.  
I was both glad and upset when the group left me, promising to return first thing in the morning. Glad because I could get over the embarrassment that my vanity allowed me. Upset because, well, a lot of things. I had to confront this new reality I found myself in, and I was frightened and alone. No amount of logic could explain how or why this has happened to me, but ranting and raving about being dead wasn’t going to get me far.  
Besides, for all I knew, the moment I went to sleep, I might die for real.   
I suppose that thought should have been the scariest one of them all, but instead, a bleak resignation took over me.   
What will be, will be.   
I closed my eyes.

When I did wake up, I thought the whole experience had been a bizarre dream. I half expected to see my fiancé sleeping soundly next to me.   
Until I opened my eyes.  
I groaned and cursed, seeing the same dank cell from the night before. How is this even possible?   
I wrenched myself off the ground, curling my nose from fresh stench that assaulted my senses. I was shivering from the cold and angry from a fresh wave of hopelessness washing over me. No amount of logic could provide me any comfort; there simply wasn’t any.  
“Good morning.” I jumped with a squeal, spinning round to see Cullen sitting outside of my cell.  
“Jesus Christ! What are you doing?!” He gave me a questioning look, seemingly holding back a smirk at my attempt to regain some dignity; staring him down with my hands on my hips.  
“Jesus Christ?”   
“Never mind that! Were you watching me sleep?” It was a silly question, but in fairness I did just wake up. I had told hold back a smirk of my own at his blush.  
“No! Of course not! I was… uh…” His hand went to rub the back of his neck and I couldn’t help but chuckle.  
“You’re a terrible liar.” Cullen sighed in defeat.  
“My apologies. I couldn’t sleep so I… came down here.” I raised an eyebrow.  
“Why?” I said more softly than I was feeling. I’m sure it wasn’t his intention, but I felt like a zoo animal; amusing those who watched me.  
“I – We want to know more about you and where you came from.” I sighed, not ready to acknowledge that mess yet.   
“I’m not saying another word until I am out of this cesspit and had a shower.” I spat stubbornly, crossing my arms in defiance.  
“A shower?” Cullen asked. I groaned.  
“Yes! A wash! Bath! One of them!” At this point I knew mannerisms from my world were going to be a right pain the ass when talking to people in Thedas.  
“I can’t just let you out; you could be a serious threat to the Inquisition.” Cullen said with a frown after a pause. I groaned.  
“Well there’s no point in me trying to persuade you otherwise.” I said with a heavy sigh, running a hand through my hair. I let out another groan at what I felt.   
Tangles and grime; it was horrible!  
“Ah I have found the Commander.” My eyes went to the entrance of the prison, where the Inquisitor was walking through, with Leliana and Josephine behind him. What did surprise me, was Solas also accompanying them.   
Fen’Harel.   
I had only played Trespasser recently before I… You know. The betrayal I felt for my character was still strong. This must have shown with the look I gave him, for he stopped in his tracks, staring at me like I stripped him down to his very soul.   
I certainly saw through the façade well enough.   
“Know each other?” The Inquisitor asked suspiciously.   
“No.” We both said in unison.   
“Uhuh.” The Inquisitor replied in a disbelieving tone. “Anyway, what did you see in the fade Solas?” The elf paused for effect, making me roll my eyes.   
“Nothing.”  
“Nothing?” Leliana pressed.  
“The spirits cannot see her. She seems to be immune to any aspect of the fade, including magic.”  
“Like a dwarf?” Cullen asked.   
“More so, in fact, I believe even the most powerful spells would have no effect on her. I would like to try something.” My eyes widened at the fire that sprung from Solas’ hands.   
“Now wait just a minute!” Cullen stood in front of me. “What does this even stand to gain?”   
“Have to agree with the Commander there.” The Inquisitor added, crossing his arms.  
“If she is one of Corypheus’ spies, I see no harm in it.” Leliana said.   
“Seriously?” I almost shouted. At this point I was frantically thinking of ways I could persuade them I wasn’t a spy, but in my panic I was drawing a blank.   
“Surely a spy would be more conspicuous Leliana!” Cullen argued. Having him to defend me made me breathe a lot easier.   
“Perhaps, or she has been tasked with getting close to the leaders. How else would she manage without a dramatic entrance?” Leliana reasoned.   
“That doesn’t even make any sense!” I practically wailed.  
“I agree.” Cullen said after a pause.   
“I don’t think it’s a risk we can take Cullen.” The Inquisitor replied with a frown.   
“So what? You’re going to kill me after leaving me here in this disgusting cell overnight?!” I spat angrily. “Asshat.”  
Not my wisest of moves but remember that I was cold, dirty, hungry and thirsty, as well as being recently thrown into a fictional world!  
“I’m sorry?” The Inquisitor turned to me, with a small smirk and a raised eyebrow at my muttered curse.  
“I said, ASSHAT. How am I meant to prove a negative?”  
“Interesting. You were ready to die yesterday.” The Inquisitor mused.  
“Yesterday was a really shit day.” I replied as a quip. After a moment, he laughed.   
“You know what? I like you. I’ll give you a chance.”   
“But Inquisitor…” Leliana interrupted.  
“Hey. Anyone who has the balls to throw funny names at me deserves respect.” He replied with a grin. Leliana sighed and shook her head.   
“Fine. But I recommend she stays under close watch and away from anything and anyone remotely significant to the Inquisition.”  
“Those are sensible terms.” The Inquisitor nodded his approval. Everyone else failed to spot Cullen’s slight frown, but I certainly didn’t. Later, I would remember that frown with a heat in my gut, but at that moment in time I was distracted by more immediate concerns.   
“Does that mean I get a bath?”


	4. My Own Den

My experience of hygienic practises in the world of Thedas left much to be desired. The bath was cold. The ‘soap’ was awful.   
And oh, the toilets. No further comment on those.  
I also needed to ask about how to brush one’s teeth, but I got the feeling I wouldn’t like the answer, plus the way my new personal guard was looking at me, I didn’t feel entirely comfortable asking any questions at all.   
But to my credit, I made the most of the situation; I was clean, albeit wearing my now wet clothes from where I washed them. My hair was washed, even though conditioner was something that apparently hadn’t been invented, and I was panda eyes-free, though make-up was something I desperately wanted; if only to feel like myself again.   
Alright! Fine. I was in a bit of a bad mood. I tried teasing the knots out of my hair. It was very vain of me to obsess over it I know, but it has always been my pride and joy! If only I could remember what conditioned hair… Maybe I could make something up myself. Honey and milk maybe? But what would that do to the colour?   
Oh god, my roots are going to come through!  
“Amy? Are you alright?” I was distracted from my thoughts by Josephine, standing in the doorway of the bath house. My guard remained silent in the corner as she entered.   
“I thought you’re all meant to stay away from me.” I asked with a raised eyebrow, before focusing back on my hair, determined to at least make it presentable.   
“I think it is only right we establish exactly where you came from. Besides, I know more about noble houses than the Inquisition; nothing I say could be damning to our cause. But allow me to formerly introduce myself; I am Josephine Montilyet, Ambassador of the Inquisition.” At this point I had a dangerous choice to make; do I feign ignorance? Potentially opening myself to bigger problems down the line if I am somehow exposed as a liar. Or do I tell the truth? That I know nearly everything about the Inquisition – or at least as much as was in the game. That could get me in a lot of trouble right now.  
My solution? Say nothing about it!  
“I’m Amy Stanton.”  
“A pleasure to meet you in much calmer circumstances. When you are ready, I will show you to your quarters.” I merely nodded and stood up to follow Josephine, with my shadow in tow. My guard was an elven woman, armed to the teeth will a variety of knives and a cold look that would make even a qunari gulp. Oh, and a bow, just in case I decided to run perhaps. I guessed that she was one of Leliana’s spies/assassins that has mucked something up and given this post as punishment; she certainly didn’t seem impressed by her new charge.   
Something that didn’t surprise me was how much bigger Skyhold really was compared to the game; it was enormous. The courtyard could fit over a thousand training soldiers. The Herald’s Rest was bigger than a nightclub, and the market by the stables were almost as large as the market squares in my world. It was the immense stables that held my interest though; I yearned to go over and explore, but now wasn’t the time to ask. My journey through Skyhold had everyone staring. Everyone. The place was almost silent as they gaped at me. I grit my teeth and stared at the ground as I walked, hugging myself to try and keep warm. Wearing wet clothes on top of a mountain wasn’t a good idea. I was shivering so violently that my teeth were chattering. But I stubbornly kept walking, feeling everyone’s eyes on me.  
What I would give to be invisible.  
“Back to work! All of you!” Cullen’s voice bellowed through the courtyard. I lifted my head and spotted him watching me as his soldiers scurried away.   
So, I smiled. Right before being pushed on by my shadow. I grunted and gave her a scowl before moving on, but not without noticing the tell-tale hand to the back of the neck.   
I didn’t move more than a few steps before I heard Cullen call out.  
“Wait.” Josephine gave him a questioning look, and my shadow glared as he approached, removing his cloak and draping it over my shoulders.   
My face must have been a picture; his chest rumbled with quashed chuckles.   
Warmth – his warmth – enveloped me, and I couldn’t help but close my eyes and sigh, pressing my head into the fur and inhaling. It was a surprising scent; I was expecting elderflower and oak, but instead it was like shea butter and a hint of leather. I shivered again for a completely different reason than the cold.  
“Thank you.” I sighed to him with such sincerity that he gave me a sweet smile alongside his blush, before hiding it with a cough and taking a step back.   
“You can return it when Josephine has found you some more… appropriate clothing.” I nodded and grinned far too happily for the situation to allow.  
“Commander!” Josephine tried to scold him without my notice; giving him a pointed look to get him to leave. At the same time, my shadow grabbed my shoulder and pushed me onwards again. We both rolled our eyes; making me hold back a giggle, before relenting and being torn away. I almost quivered when I saw a look in his eyes; a promise for another time, before he gave a curt nod and walked away. 

“You will be staying in here for the time being. It is a little… undecorated…”  
“I love it.” I interrupted Josephine, staring in wonder at my new place. It was a dusty, empty round room, with only the stonework for decoration and a bed that has been hastily put together. But I saw the potential. It was like my own den; having to go past the stables towards the staircase for the kitchens, but instead going down a few steps underneath the stairs to reach the door. There were no windows; just the one door to go in and out. I knew they picked this spot as an alternative cell, but it felt cosy.  
And to be honest, any room without blood and other bodily fluids on the floor was a vast improvement in my books. Given time, this place will become my own.  
“Well, that is good.” Josephine replied in a surprised tone. “For now, I shall arrange for some furnishings to be delivered, and find you some more ‘appropriate clothing’ as the Commander said. I will also have your meal delivered. I must ask you to stay in this room until I return to ask you some questions.”   
“Of course. And, thanks Josie – I mean – Lady Montilyet.” I blushed at my own slip, wrapping Cullen’s cloak more tightly around myself.   
“Oh uh, no, Josie is fine… Amy.” Josephine gave me a hesitant smile that I returned before she stepped out. I always like Josephine in the games; I hoped we would become friends, along with Sera, Varric, Iron Bull and Dorian if/when I eventually met them! Oh and Cole! He would be interesting to talk to… I gave a smile to my shadow as I sat on my bed, pondering my future at Skyhold. I was worried about meeting Vivienne and Cassandra; they were intimidating even on the other end of a screen. Blackwall never made too much of an impression on me; until he mentioned the poor dog. Now I can only imagine being disgusted in his presence; my love for animals too strong for sympathy and understanding. My shadow – I must really learn her name - turned away and huffed, so I shrugged my shoulders and laid back to bury myself in Cullen’s cloak and scent, imagining that one day, maybe I could indulge in the man himself.


	5. The Devil's Horsewoman

Days went by and my new and improved prison became lonely; if it wasn’t for the guard posted outside and the food and bathing water delivered to me, I would have thought I was forgotten about completely. Josephine never returned for our chat, and why, I didn’t know. My saving grace was a precious moment where I was allowed outside, after a very lengthy one-sided conversation with my shadow, who at that point was officially dubbed Shadow, since she refused to offer anything more than an angry nod of the head and a single grunt as she pushed me outside. I know we were both breaking Josephine’s rule, but maybe Shadow felt sorry for me, or maybe she was just as tired of her surroundings as I was. Either way, outside was a vast improvement. My compromise was to not talk to anyone, so I opted to sit in the shadows against a tree and watch the huge courtyard of the stables, where some horses were being lunged while others were being ridden by raw recruits; the familiar, comforting shout of “heels down!” making me smile. I snuggled into Cullen’s robe, (still uncollected, to both my relief and despair) and watched the riders with envious eyes. Shadow was completely disinterested as she stood next to me with her arms crossed, ignoring the tears that rolled down my face as I absorbed everything about the scene before me; the scent of horses, the sounds of their whinnies and thumping of their hooves on the sand, and even the occasional bang of their kicks against the stable doors; demanding attention. It was the first time since I arrived that the world around me remotely resembled home, and it was painfully bittersweet.   
Movement to my side caught my attention, and I glanced over as I wiped under my eyes, becoming shocked to see Cullen, holding a finger to his lips in a quiet motion. I raised an eyebrow and looked to my other side where Shadow was standing. Ah, so Leliana or the Inquisitor have cracked down on anyone speaking to me at all. Wonderful.   
Well, rules were meant to be broken.  
“So, Shadow, finally going to tell me what you did to get lumbered with babysitting duty? Could sure use the laugh, buddy.” As predicted, from my other attempts to make conversation, she rolled her eyes and stomped a few paces away, crossing her arms again with a huff. While she kept me in her periphery vision, she couldn’t notice Cullen sit down against the tree next to me; completely out of her line of sight.   
“That was very well handled.” He said quietly in a deep, soft tone that made me shiver. “Are you alright?” I couldn’t help but chuckle sarcastically at that, before referring to my favourite answer.  
“I’m fine.”   
“I suppose that was an inappropriate question.” Cullen replied softly after a pause. “Is there anything I can do to help?” I bit my lip, unsure how to answer such an unexpected question. I dared to turn my head slightly to look at him; blue eyes meeting amber, my heartbeat fluttering at the sight of his worried, but curious expression.   
At me. How often have I daydreamed about such a moment? To have THE Cullen Rutherford look at me as though he wanted to save me…  
I got so lost in that moment that I almost forgot the question, until a frown became etched on his forehead. I smiled weakly, feeling like a nervous teenager.  
“Don’t go.” I replied breathlessly. His trademark smirk alone made me forget all my problems.  
“I can certainly stay for a while.” I smiled my appreciation, and dared to shuffle just a little bit closer until our arms touched, keeping an eye on Shadow.  
“You miss your home.” It was a statement, more than a question. I sighed.   
“In part.” Trying to sound less dramatic, I smiled at Cullen and added, “Some things I miss… others, well. Not so much.” I motioned towards the horses. “I worked with horses, at a very famous stud. We travelled the world with them in fact.” It seemed wrong to me, that I missed those stables more than my fiancé.   
But it wasn’t him that saved me from myself.   
“You were a stable master?” Cullen interrupted me from my thoughts.   
“Something like that.” I hesitated, unable to think of a way to describe my role in a way Cullen would understand. “I mainly ride the horses, doing tricks and stunts in front of a crowd.” It didn’t work; he gave me a questioning look. I racked my brain and suddenly found a way to explain it.  
He was a military man.   
“So, you know how you use your horses in battle; keep them trotting to keep up their momentum, making them quicker to change direction and such?” Cullen nodded. “And the moves you use so your horse can protect you both, and attack your enemies; like rearing up to kick those in front and leaping to kick behind them? That sort of thing?” Cullen nodded again, making me smile. “Where I’m from, horses aren’t used for battle anymore; it’s mainly entertainment now. We train horses and riders to use those sorts of tricks to dazzle a crowd, or re-enact battles. Some do it in a slow way that’s beautiful to watch, while others – like me – use them in a fast and extreme way to really shock and wow people.” Cullen’s brow furrowed in concentration.  
“Maybe I would understand better if I saw what you meant.” He said eventually. I smiled sheepishly and nodded.   
“I’m sorry; It is difficult to explain and I’m also terrible at descriptions. I suppose it’s just easier to call me a stable master. I miss even just brushing down the horses…” My eyes wandered back to the stables. I felt Cullen’s eyes on me. “I’d have some music playing as well; it kept them all calm while they waited their turn… that was until Arcanine sometimes came in and distracted me…” I smiled at the memories of my literal hay tumbles, with the horses protesting. I let out a small laugh as a tear fell down my face.  
It suddenly felt wrong to be talking to Cullen.   
Cullen’s hand suddenly lifted to my face, holding my cheek as a thumb wiped the tear away. My expression must have been that of confusion; he suddenly blushed as though he didn’t mean to do it.   
“Well, if it helps, we have horses here. And music in the tavern. As for distractions… Perhaps something could be arranged.” A blush burned my cheeks at his low voice and comforting touch. He began to pull away, thinking he was overstepping a line, but I stopped him by covering his hand with my own.   
Even though it felt wrong, I just couldn’t help myself. His apologetic look turned to one of surprise. The air suddenly seemed to grow thick around us as we stayed there for a few moments, holding a cautious, intense stare. My breaths became shallow as my heart sped up as I saw him inch closer to me. I looked up helplessly, like a lamb under the lion’s gaze. My reservations suddenly snapped. I moved forward, with my eyes closing as I felt his breath on my lips. They parted as I dared to whisper his name.  
“Maker’s breath.” He muttered harshly. A tone I wasn’t expecting. My eyes snapped open in confusion and saw his irritated gaze over my shoulder.   
Ah.   
“Shadow’s watching, isn’t she?” I asked with a sigh. He nodded slightly, making me roll my eyes. “Wonderful.” With another sigh, I stood up with Cullen, removing his robe to give back to him. He took it while keeping his frown on Shadow, who had a scowl that would befit a bulldog as she stomped towards me.   
“Amy.” My head turned back to Cullen. “When the Inquisitor returns, we can discuss you helping at the stables.” My smile grew so much that it hurt my face.  
“I would really like that.” I managed to say before being dragged away.


	6. Lugia

So, over the next few days, I had a lot to think about.  
Which naturally, I avoided doing.  
My little escapade with Cullen meant I was once again confined to my room. Whenever Shadow or her relief guard glanced in to check that I haven’t magically escaped, I poked my tongue out at them, like any mature woman would. I clung on to the hope that soon, I will be able to work with the horses; there’s only so much re-arranging of a sparse room one can do, though I was quite pleased with myself when I made a little en-suite for my bathtub and uh… toilet. I even tried to show Shadow but she… well, I suppose I digress anyway.  
It got to about day 3 since the almost-kiss when my whispering mind began shouting at me as I tried to sleep that night. A myriad of thoughts swirled as I tossed and turned, and even punching my pillow wouldn’t send them away. Resigned to my fate, I got up with a huff; sitting at the edge of my bed with my head in my hands. I could just make out the faint sound of the rainfall outside, and hoped the white noise would soothe me as I crept towards the door with my bed sheet wrapped around me. I suddenly thought of Shadow; she must be soaked just sitting out there!  
“Hey! Hey Shadow! Why don’t you come inside where it’s dry?” After a moment of no response or sound of movement, I added, “Promise I won’t try and talk to you.”  
The door slowly unlocked with a click and Shadow reluctantly stepped inside as I rolled my eyes and brought up a chair for her to sit on. I just sat on the floor, against the wall at an angle so I could see the rain outside through the small bars on my door.  
“Thank you.” The foreign voice made me jump.  
Shadow spoke!  
But I made good on my promise; merely giving her a small smile to hide my surprise, before returning my gaze to the rain.  
I tried to quieten my thoughts by acknowledging them.  
I was probably dead. Impossible, but I knew in my heart that it was so.  
Nothing I could do about that, so move on Amy!  
I will never see my Arcanine again. Never feel his touch, or hear his voice…  
You’re dwelling Amy; there’s no point. You might be the dead one, but you will have to grieve and carry on.  
Why did I come through an eluvian though?  
Rationalising won’t help – this is probably all happening in your head as you… as you… 

I shivered and shook that trail of thought away. I can’t do anything about that.  
At that moment in time, I didn’t realise I was humming Cheza’s lullaby to soothe myself.  
“What song is that? Never heard anything like it.” Shadow asked me suddenly, in a grumpy tone to probably hide her curiosity.  
“Oh, umm, it’s from Wolf’s Rain; an anime.” I replied quickly without much thought, mentally kicking myself when I saw her confused expression. “It’s like a play.” My explanation was acknowledged with a grunt.  
“It’s nice.” Shadow said eventually. I gave a small smile and hummed it again while returning to my own thoughts; my tiredness stopped me from celebrating the fact that Shadow spoke to me.

You almost kissed Cullen.  
I winced; preparing myself like a child would for a lecture.  
You don’t even know the man. You think you do, but you really don’t!  
It’s true; he almost kissed me too - the in-game Cullen would never do that so soon… Though the interruption was pretty typical though.  
What would Arcanine think?  
That was a low blow. I scowled and hit my head against the wall with a groan.  
Maybe I should just stay away from Cullen; not that I have much choice now anyway.  
But I don’t want to.  
As pathetic as it sounds, I want to be around him, and… I think he wants to be around me too…  
It’s like love at first sight! Except I got a little head start…  
You’re right… that is pathetic!  
Another headbutt and a groan.  
My rational mind tried to intervene in the bizarre battle in my head.  
Look. You’re attracted to Cullen. You can’t go back to Arcanine. Maybe you’re drawing comfort from your grief, and that’s perfectly normal; Cullen makes you feel safe – he was the one that protected you when you first arrived, and so far, he’s the only one being genuinely nice to you. That, and the fact that you had a slight obsession with him before means you’re going to want to be around him. You might not really know him now, but that’s a pretty easy dilemma to solve. You’ll just need to work through your grief and guilt in your own time.  
Just… try not to get too close again, otherwise you’ll never know him!  
My humming eventually faded into the rain, and with a smile of relief I finally succumbed to sleep. 

The first thing I noticed when I woke up again was pain.  
With a groan, I sat up, finding myself on the floor where I was sitting last night. Wonderful. My joints cracked as I stretched and stood up. Shadow slotted a pillow between my head and the wall sometime in the night, which I was grateful for – no doubt my pain would be a lot worse without it.  
Now though, she was back to sitting outside. It was still dark in the early morning, but at least it stopped raining for her. I began my heartbreakingly boring routine for the day; wondering the whole time what the point even was. But old habits die hard; my time working with horses meant a lie in was but a distant memory, and even on days off I often found myself at the stables at the crack of dawn.  
Needless to say then, that the inactivity was driving me absolutely bonkers.  
I dressed for the day in my new attire- similar to the rogue outfit of the female Trevelyan Inquisitor, minus the small breastplate, and with my New Rock boots which I will hopefully never stop wearing. I then tried to coax more words out of Shadow, but the magic of my humming in the night seemed to have faded away.  
Even a dull conversation would be preferable to nothing.  
The exciting agenda for the rest of the day was to practise braiding my hair; having been given some simple hairbands from the lady that brought my food the day before. It went quite well; eventually I had a neat looking braid to the side. I was about to start again, to try braiding at the back of my head when I heard a commotion outside. There was an animalistic roar as I reached the door, and saw Master Dennett outside shouting at Shadow.  
“Let her out! We need her now! Oh, get out the way you ruddy mute!” I gasped and pushed away from the door just in time to avoid getting hit in the face as Dennett opened the door with a crash.  
“Come with me.” 

It was a bloody dracolisk.  
“A Basking Longma.” Dennett said as we ran towards the group struggling to contain the animal. It was surrounded by about a dozen people, all struggling to hold onto the ropes as the dracolisk hissed and reared, trying to bite anyone that got too close. “Notoriously a pain in the ass to ride, but the Inquisitor bloody insisted.” Dennett continued.  
“I wouldn’t say just hard to ride; the thing is still wild!” I replied worriedly. “What do you want me to do?”  
“Well, you’re a horse master as well! Thought you might know something about these things.”  
“Horse being the key word!” I replied in a panicked voice. “But I suppose I can try...” I sighed as we reached the group. I’ve dealt with many problematic horses in my time so maybe I’ll have some luck, though they were never this wild and didn’t have features of a bloody dragon.  
“Get it into the arena!” I shouted as I wrenched open the gate. “When you’re inside I want you to take off all the ropes then get out.” I added, which the group hastily obeyed before closing the gate behind me.  
“Dennett.” I beckoned him into the arena with me, hoping to have some back-up against the bucking, snarling beast that was galloping about the arena, looking for an escape. If he was surprised that I knew his name, he didn’t show it.  
To my dismay, Dennett shook his head.  
“I wanna see what you can do.” He said simply, crossing his arms. I sighed at the obvious test of skills and cautiously went over to him while keeping my eyes on the dracolisk.  
“Can you at least tell me a bit about the animal? Sex, breed standard, life history and that?”  
“That is a female Basking Longma, and as I told you already, they’re a pain in the ass – which is a breed standard. Life history, well, we don’t rightly know – Inquisitor bought her off some mercenaries a few days ago, and sent it here with a note saying ‘Sort it out.’” Dennett replied casually, as I stood there wide-eyed with horror.  
“So, that poor animal could have been taken from the wild at some point in its life, and had god-knows what kind of treatment from these mercenaries since then?” I asked with anger bubbling.  
“Probably not; the Vints made this breed, just not very well; they’re a...”  
“Pain in the ass. Got it.” I muttered. “Well, that is something I suppose. Right. I’ll do my best.”  
This was going to be a long day.

There was a soft round of applause when I stroked the Dracolisk’s head.  
I couldn’t tell you how long I was out there or how many cubes of meat I gave the animal, only that it was beginning to get dark again. I knew we were still in the infancy of taming and training, but I was proud that the ferocious looking animal was beginning to trust me. The crowd grew silent again when I walked away to pick up a headcollar. I was a bit surprised to find the dracolisk right behind me, having followed me from curiosity. I smiled and stroked her head again, before slowly bringing up the headcollar for her to sniff. It took a little while, but with more meat cubes I eventually slipped the halter over; getting another small round of applause. I gave her a moment to get used to the feeling, giggling when she tried to get it off by rubbing against me. When she calmed down though I attached the leadrope and cautiously led her around. I smiled when she casually followed behind me – not seeming to need the leadrope at all. Dennett beckoned me when we got closer to him.  
“Come on then; I’ll show you where she lives.”

“So. What’s your name for her?” Dennett asked me as I shut the stable door.  
“You want me to name her?” I asked, stunned.  
“Well, you’re her new trainer.” Dennett replied casually as he shrugged his shoulders.  
“Me? But I’m…”  
“A bloody good horse master. Or dracolisk master at least.” Dennett grinned at his own joke.  
“Well, thank you.” Dennett seemed like the kind of man that didn’t give praise lightly; I felt honoured. I thought about the name, glancing at the dracolisk and humming.  
“How about… Dratini?” I asked the dracolisk more than Dennett. She looked at me and hissed, making Dennett recoil slightly as I chuckled.  
“Alright. Maybe not. It’s a shame though! Suits you well…” I resumed my humming, thinking of other Pokemon names that would fit. I didn’t realise it, but I began humming the call of one of my favourite Pokemon; the call that became a song.  
“Lugia.” I said with wonder. The dracolisk seemed to light up with happiness; humming her content in a way I can imagine the legendary Pokemon humming.  
Dennett left me with Lugia, muttering to himself; something along the lines of “ruddy weird name.” I just shook my head and smiled, giving Lugia another stroke over the door.  
“You were incredible today.” I shivered at the soft, deep voice behind me, and slowly turned around to face the lion’s gaze as a lamb once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were curious!  
> Cheza's Lullaby: https://youtu.be/0jTtffiGMtw  
> Lugia's Song: https://youtu.be/ZqpXrDuLqE0


	7. Divine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was going to be longer but I just couldn't wait to post this! XD

His eyes never left mine as he slipped off his gloves and reached out to lift my braid; smirking as he delicately twirled it with his fingers. He was suddenly so close, I couldn’t even think as my senses drowned me in Cullen. I shivered as his fingers grazed the skin on my neck, and helplessly stared up at him with a silent plea to never stop.   
“I like this.” Cullen said in a husky voice as he glanced at my hair. It was messy from a whole day of work and my lack of skill with braiding, not to mention having no conditioner or other hair products my hair craves. But despite all that, Cullen was looking at it as though he wanted nothing more than to bury himself in my locks.  
“And I like these, very much.” His eyes went back to mine as his free hand slowly cupped my cheek, with his thumb stroking just under my eye. I have had compliments in the past about my eyes as well as my hair, but Cullen’s simple comments are the first ones to make me feel truly beautiful. His burning touch stole my breath away; try as I might, I couldn’t utter a word. Hesitation appeared in his eyes from my lack of response, sending panic through me. Right or wrong had no place when I was nothing short of craving more from Cullen. My trembling hands went to cover his own; I stopped him pulling away and slowly backed up against the stable wall. I let out a shaky breath as Cullen pushed his body flush against mine. I didn’t notice his armour digging in to me; I only saw the surprise in his eyes at my actions, before the smouldering look as he pressed into me.  
Cullen let out a deep breath to stay in control of himself. I felt it on my lips and tilted my head up for more. My chest rubbed against his armour with my breaths almost frantic with the anticipation.  
“I confess that I cannot seem to help myself around you...” Cullen whispered on my lips. I bit back a moan and resisted closing my eyes. “I must know more; know everything…” The world could have exploded around us and I wouldn’t have cared. The ache I had was unbearable; I almost whimpered as the hand holding my hair stroked up my neck. “The life you have led, the things that make you smile… and much more. But the last few days, I have been thinking only about that kiss we almost shared, and what that would feel like. I would very much like to find out, if you would allow it...”   
“Cullen.” My whine was the last straw. With a groan, his lips crashed into mine and I shamelessly moaned into his mouth; all control gone as I flung my arms over his shoulders and gripped the back of his head to pull him in closer. The only way I could describe that kiss is divine. Cullen felt divine, tasted divine…  
I was in heaven. I needed more; my tongue eagerly explored, pulling a groan from Cullen. He sounded divine.   
It was when his hips started grinding into me that he suddenly pulled away; crossing a line of some kind. We caught our breaths as his forehead rested on mine.  
For our first kiss…  
“Maker’s breath.”   
Exactly.  
“I am not usually… quite so… like this.” Cullen said suddenly with a nervous voice. My mind was still a blissful jumble from that kiss, and I only wanted more.  
“I’m not either… That was perfect though. So perfect. You can kiss me anytime.” I replied with a dazed smile, making Cullen chuckle deeply as he reluctantly pulled away, dropping his hands down to my shoulders and gently stroking them.  
“I’ll bear that in mind.”


	8. A New Nickname

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was going to be a really angsty, confusing chapter. But I changed it! Amy's been through enough! Let her have a nice time dammit!

“Come with me.” Cullen said with a smile as he tentatively held my hand. My gaze remained locked with his, mesmerized from the kiss only moments ago. I’m pretty sure I gave the most ridiculous cat-got-the-cream smile before he chuckled; a rich, deep sound that I could probably feel if my hand touched his chest.   
As sexy as armour is, it does have limitations.   
An impatient, throat clearing cough interrupted my thoughts. We both turned to the sound, seeing Shadow cross her arms and tapping her foot. My burning blush must have mirrored Cullen’s, and I now felt more like a cat being caught stealing the cream.   
“I was just going to escort Lady Stanton to the tavern. Of course, you are welcome to join.” Cullen said in a mixture of defiance and appeasement. Later, I laughed at the absurdity of a Commander of an army having to explain anything to a lowly foot soldier, but in that moment, my thoughts distracted me again.  
Lady Stanton has a nice ring to it. But Lady Stanton Rutherford sounds so much better. It definitely suits me.   
Right. Moving on.   
Long story short, and one-sided argument aside, we went to the tavern, with a very grumpy Shadow in tow. I just couldn’t bring myself to care though as Cullen led me with my arm in his, blushing nervously like a young man courting for the first time. The night sky was still too young for stars, but a pretty moon illuminated the way for us. It was so… traditional! I had to tease him before Shadow’s teeth rotted.   
“Are you taking me on a date Commander?” I asked with a sly smile. It got the reaction I wanted.  
“I uh, remember you saying that you enjoyed music.” He stammered as he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand.   
“I did.” I replied dumbly, surprised by the simple, yet profound comment.   
Because where I’m from, remembering small details such as what a person enjoys is a massive gesture.   
I recovered quickly though before I looked stupid.   
“I also enjoy private time with Commanders, especially when there’s kissing involved. Just so you know.”   
Just want to point out that I haven’t felt inclined to flirt with anyone for years now; obviously, I was a little out of practise. There was a lot of self-cursing and face-palming after I said that. I’m sure Shadow joined me there.  
It made Cullen chuckle though.  
“Anyone would think you are trying to hint something.” He replied as he opened the door to the tavern. A muffled roar suddenly became an overwhelming one as the noise from the tavern resonated to us. It was full of laughter and cheer, with happy conversations murmuring in the background. It reminded me of the crowded pubs from home on a Friday night, where young blood invade the sanctuary of the older generations, who were just in partly for a quiet pint and partly to escape their wives. Mostly to escape their wives.   
Now there were no old regulars at The Herald’s Rest; every night was Friday night. I stared wide-eyed at the scene before me as I drunk in the addictive atmosphere. My skin tingled with an alien sensation, which reminded me of the excitement of being on a night out, but it was so much more; rather than a creeping anticipation of the spontaneity ahead, it was as though my very life would be defined by what happened in that tavern. I could only describe it like listening to a really epic piece of music that makes you feel like you can summon a storm, fly through space or run at the speed of lightning.   
It was overwhelming.  
My stunned face looked up to Cullen’s as he looked at me with concern.   
“Are you alright?”  
“Can’t… can’t you feel that?” I asked, thinking I might be suddenly ill.   
“Drunk mages. You’ll get used to it.” Shadow piped up as she pushed past me. Cullen watched her melt into the crowd, surprised to hear her.  
“Shadow speaks now by the way.” I murmured. “What did she mean? Is it their magic I’m feeling?”  
“I suppose it is. I cannot feel anything though.” Cullen replied, before shrugging his shoulders and leading me to the bar, with an arm over my shoulder; possessively or protectively, I didn’t mind which. I took off my jacket, wearing the simple sleeveless top I wore when I first arrived. Cullen seemed to double-take when he glanced at my bare arms that weren’t really bare; both my arms were completely covered in colourful tattoos. He opened his mouth to speak as he stared, but was interrupted.   
“Well well Curly, what do you have there?”   
“Varric!” I called before I saw him. I couldn’t help myself; the magic made me giddy.   
“How did you know…” Cullen started to me, before a blonde dwarf with a generous amount of chest hair appeared.  
“My reputation precedes me! Always nice to meet a fan, though I have to say, you’re pretty impressive yourself.”  
“What? Me? No! I…” I laughed nervously.  
“Are you kidding? You wouldn’t catch me anywhere near one of those draco-things! You just walked right up to it and made friends like it was an adorable little cat. No one could believe it! Don’t worry Curly; I saw you too! Sword drawn ready to defend the damsel. Unfortunately for you, she doesn’t need rescuing at all.” Varric winked at Cullen, whose blush was as furious as his glare. Varric held up his hands in submission. “Hey, I didn’t know it was a secret! Wasn’t like you were hiding it!”  
“Dwarf…” Cullen growled a warning. I was struggling not to laugh at his embarrassment. Varric snuck a wink at me before shrugging his shoulders and saluting us as a farewell.   
“Fine fine, I’m going! See you around Curly… Petal.”  
“Petal?!” I asked, mortified. “I faced a dracolisk today and you nickname me Petal?!” of all the things to name me! I often wondered what it would be, but surely not Petal!  
“You’re colourful!” Varric replied, gesturing to my arms and hair before he disappeared.   
“Jesus Christ.” I growled. Cullen laughed as he handed me a drink.   
“At least it isn’t Curly. Anyway, I didn’t bring you here to be assessed by our resident storyteller. Come.”   
We sat in a discreet spot at the corner of the tavern, close to an area that has been emptied in anticipation of a performer. I gave my drink an experimental taste; it was an ale of sorts. Nothing like I have ever tasted before, but the signature barely-chilled temperature was there along with the sweet, yeasty taste. It wasn’t my usual choice, but it surprised me how nice it was. I smiled my thanks to Cullen.  
“I would like to know more about…” Cullen started as he pointed at my arms, but Maryden stepped out at that moment, bowing slightly as her audience cheered, and then sitting comfortably on an old barrel and tuning her lute as the tavern fell silent. Cullen shook his head to dismiss his own question and gestured to the bard. We came to listen to music after all. I smiled and nodded. We can talk later. When Maryden was happy, she began to play.  
I watched and listened eagerly as she played a song I didn’t recognise. The rest of the tavern seemed to know it well; a few sung along and others tapped their feet or bobbed their head. Cullen did none of these things; he just watched me. I caught him when I glanced sideways, and we both looked away hurriedly, embarrassed. I braved looking back though with a shy smile and dared to place my hand on top of his, squeezing gently.  
I didn’t want him to be embarrassed.   
“Hey Boss! Thought I called dibs on the dragon-tamer!” A loud voice boomed as a giant approached. I looked up in surprise.   
The Iron Bull is much, much bigger in real life.   
“Excuse me?” Cullen raised an eyebrow in challenge, making The Iron Bull chuckle.   
“You couldn’t handle me, Tiny.” I retorted with a grin, pleased by the far more epic nickname. The Iron Bull meanwhile, guffawed at my words.  
“You got guts kid! How about we get you a real drink? See just how gutsy you are.” Iron Bull whistled over a waitress, who naturally rushed over as quickly as she could, blushing for the barely dressed and heavily chested qunari. Her efforts were rewarded with a slap on the ass as she walked away. I bristled and Cullen sighed as Iron Bull sat down opposite us with a smug grin. My temper was cooled somewhat by the offering of more drinks, though, when Cullen tried his, he coughed and sputtered.   
“What in the void is this?!” Iron Bull laughed.  
“It’s the good stuff!” I took a sip of mine.   
Imagine the kind of vodka a diehard Russian wakes up to every morning, the kind that would leave anyone else blind. Now imagine a whole tankard of it. That pretty much sums up the drink Iron Bull considers ‘the good stuff’. I felt flammable. Scratch that; my throat was already on fire. My eyes watered as I gasped a ‘Sweet Jesus!’.  
“Never heard that one before.” Iron Bull commented. I groaned inwardly.  
“Jesus is my version of Andraste I suppose, except he went one step further and claimed to be the Maker’s son! Talk about delusion de grandeur” I mumbled with a sigh. “Anyway! Last thing I want to talk about is bloody religion.”  
“Cheers to that.” Iron Bull said with a grin as he raised his glass.  
“I find it interesting.” Cullen said in a low voice as he looked at me with unreadable eyes. I shifted under his gaze.  
“Well uh, when you feel like getting angry and offended, come to me! That’s generally the end result.” I replied with a nervous laugh. “Oh! She’s about to play another one.”

Time went on, and before I realised it, Cullen and I shifted so close together that our knees were touching and my head was resting on his shoulder as I listened to Maryden, relishing music and envisioning the stories in my mind. My body tingled from a mixture of the magic and the alcohol in my system, and I felt warm and content enough to close my eyes. If I concentrated hard, I could just about feel Cullen shift as he breathed. I bet it would be really easy to fall asleep on his chest, listening to him.  
I wonder if he snored…  
“Amy, wake up.” Cullen murmured on my forehead as he shifted his shoulder. I didn’t even notice Iron Bull leaving, but in his place, was Leliana.   
And boy, if looks could kill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to the Andromeda soundtrack when I mentioned epic music... Seemed fitting! Here is the epic song!  
> https://youtu.be/vEqZ0d2QU_M


End file.
